Not Your Kid's Facebook, Part III

Parts I and II of “Not Your Kid’s Facebook” were behind-the-scenes suggestions on setting up your account and figuring out your account. Now it’s time for the fun part.

·          Facebook is more than “I had cereal for breakfast.” I always hear that argument from people in my age range who haven’t signed up for an account for whatever the reason. People DO sometimes post what they’re eating or cooking (yum!) but it’s not that different from sharing the same information during a water cooler conversation (and don’t even pretend you never done that). Admittedly, I have seen a few posts that are way TMI (too much information), but I’ve also celebrated new babies, graduations, weddings, promotions, and other happy news. I’ve been touched by memorial tributes for people I loved and comforted by kind words from unexpected sources.

·          Check your facts before reposting a link or status. Remember all the email blasts about some dreaded virus that turned out to be a hoax? People have learned to go to Snopes.com to check their facts before spamming their entire address book. Facebook users are still learning that lesson. It’s usually some post about privacy settings and most of the time it’s not entirely correct so do a quick google search to verify (or ask your favorite techie) before you paste it on your wall.

·          Write captions and tag people in your pics. I’ve taken the time to click on your album; give me some context and tell me who the people are! Yes, it takes a bit of extra time, but it’s worth the effort. I’m careful to use only first names of children and don’t post at all unless I see that their parents have posted pics first. It’s just the right thing to do.

·          Chime in every so often. Don’t feel obligated to comment on every status, every posting, every link (please DON’T!), but a quick “like” (looks like “thumbs up”) on somebody’s status or picture doesn’t take long and it’s like a wave across cyberspace. Seeing comments on my posts, sometimes from totally unexpected sources, usually makes me smile so I like to return the favor, hoping they’ll smile, too.

·          Don’t obsess over status updates. It’s a conversation, not a dissertation, and you don’t have to post every moment of your day (again, please DON’T). Dan Zarella, a self-described social media scientist (whatever that means), answered five questions about Facebook marketing in a blog post. His advice? Post every other day. I, self-described social media geezer, decree that a post can be a status, a comment, a like and it counts…hey, it’s my blog and I can do what I want.

·          Don’t put anything on FB you don’t mind seeing on the front page of USA TODAY (insert media outlet of choice here). Remember, if it goes on your wall, all of your friends (and perhaps others, depending on your privacy setting) are going to see it. If you want it to be one-to-one, use the message option. Even then, remember that anything you write down anywhere—email, letter, sticky note—isn’t really private, so act accordingly. Yes, I learned that lesson the hard way in eighth grade when a mean girl posted my sappy note to my boyfriend on the lunchroom bulletin board…awkward!

This is my completely unofficial take for Facebook, at least for now. What are your tips, tricks and quirks with all things Facebook?

PS – Yes, all of this information and more can probably be found in one of the Dummies series. But I come from a family where the children are all above average and nobody, especially my mama, thinks they classify as a dummy. J

Not Your Kid's Facebook, Part II

…an occasional series about new-fangled gizmos and how geezers like me use them.

Part I of “Not Your Kid’s Facebook” focused on the decision to sign up for an account. Now, we move to some housekeeping details (I’m saving the really fun stuff for Part III):

·          Lock down your privacy settings. I use Friends Only for the majority of the options. Don’t trust FB to choose the best options for you; they have no dog in your hunt.

·          Think about who you want to see on your friends list and how you will (or won’t) look for them. For example, I don’t reach out to anybody under the age of 18, but if they reach out to me, I’ll accept their request. Facebook is their world and I don’t want to intrude, but I freely admit, I’m tickled/flattered when the young ‘uns send me a friend request. I’m delighted (albeit sometimes a bit horrified) to know what my nephews are posting. Their parents are also their friends (which I believe is a “must” if you have a kid on FB) so anything too outrageous soon disappears. I’m equally careful about stalking their posts and don’t comment very regularly—they indulge me by not seeming to mind if I give an occasional thumbs up but I save the “love u” messages for texts that are directly to them.

·          Tweak your notification options. Getting an email every time somebody “likes” a friend’s status can make you crazy. So, uncheck all of the notification options (Account/Account Settings/Notification tab) and then add them back in, based on what you really want to know via email (and that may be nothing at all). I get an email when somebody friends me, sends me a direct message, or comments on one of my status postings. That’s it.

·          Upload a profile pic. I’m reluctant to accept a friend invitation from someone with only the silhouette photo, which is strangely reminiscent of those old yearbook picture placeholders. Find a picture that makes you smile. My favorite profile pic is my pink wig one, but, at my family’s request, I provide a glimpse of my current hair color every so often.

·          Fill out at least part of the profile information. Share your essentials (work, hometown, birthday without the year (!), and education). I don’t have my cell number on my profile, but I know lots of folks who do. I do like the quotes section as a repository for quotes I come across. One of my faves? “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne. There are too many books and movies in my life to list them all but I promise you’ll look at what your friends have listed, especially in your early experiences with Facebook.

·          Download the mobile app for your smartphone. Put a bookmark/button in your web browser. You’re more likely to use FB if you make it simple to get to. Waiting in the doctor’s office? Check out FB; it takes your mind off the impending appointment and the ever-present lag time for doctor visits. Facebook would love to be my home page, but it’s not where I want to go every time I open my browser (which has a blank default which is faster than waiting for a page to load). So, I make a button on my toolbar (Add to Favorites Bar for the Internet Explorer users in the crowd) and that allows me to get to Facebook in a single click.

I’ll be looking for you on FB. Stop by and see me!

Want to learn more? You might be interested in Part I and Part III.

Not Your Kid’s Facebook, Part I

…first in an occasional series of new-fangled gizmos and how geezers like me use them.

I joined Facebook (FB) in July 2007 nearly a year after it was opened to the general public. Initially, it was simply an experiment because the Chief had gotten an invite from a high-profile friend and I thought it HAD to be a hoax. I offered to take one for the team—it’s not nearly as big a deal if my email account gets hacked—but didn’t get too involved until mid-2008.

I’m far from expert in all things FB, although I spent a weekend in 1979 with friends (who shall remain nameless for their own protection) assigning a ranking to every guy on my small college campus. A foreshadowing of Facemash? You decide. We didn’t know enough computer programming to put it online, but the campus post office was buzzing on Monday morning when the index cards began falling out of the mailboxes…”You got a 10? My number says 4.”

Sean Parker was an intern in our office for about three days when he was 15 so with these august credentials I offer the following observations:

·          You’re not too old. I’m proud to report that my mama is a FB user (and, by default, my dad regularly mentions things he’s read on “the Facebook”). In a survey, the Pew Internet & American Life Project found that social networking use among internet users ages 50 and older nearly doubled from April 2009 to May 2010. I’ll never be as adept with social media as the young ‘uns and I don’t want to interfere in their world, but I can play around the fringes. You can, too.

·          You’ll be surprised at who you’ll find. My friends list is a cross-section of family, high school classmates, college friends, a few students from my teaching days, along with current friends and colleagues. Are they all people I’d call regularly? No, I probably wouldn’t even email a fraction of them more than a couple of times every five years, but I do scan their statuses and know what they’re up to.

·          You’ll also be surprised at who plays Farmville or Mafia Wars or Petville. The game craze seems to have calmed down in my circle of friends. In full disclosure, I generally hide those games in my feed. If you want to play them, have at it; I just don’t want to see your activity.

·          Your memories won’t necessarily jibe with what folks say on FB. I’m not the same person I was at 16, 22, or even 35 so I don’t know why I thought people from those periods of my life would be. But I did, and it took a few weeks to realign my memories with their online realities…they probably think the same thing about me!

·          Quantity or quality? Don had more friends in his first 24 hours on FB than I did after 18 months. Maybe I just don’t know as many people as he did, but I was heartened by Robin Dunbar’s recent NY Times article, “You’ve Got to Have (150) Friends.”

So, I’m guessing you may have an account (I know lots of cool people) but do you do anything with it? Try it; you’ll like it.

Want to learn more? You might be interested in Part II and Part III.

Three Little Words

I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions. Any moments of self-reflection and goal-setting sessions are always tied to the school year calendar. I have to rein myself in at Staples and Target in late summer or I find my shopping cart filled with new notebooks and markers in quantities I simply can’t justify any more. Just try to tell me opening a new notebook isn’t a fresh start!

I don’t remember how I found @ChrisBrogan on Twitter, but 9 times out of 10 I find myself clicking through to whatever he’s tweeted. A few weeks ago I found a link to his post “My Three Words for 2010” and here is his post for 2011 words. Not long after, I saw that Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, had posted “Choose One Word to Set the Tone for Next Year.”

Never satisfied with one word when I can have three, here are my picks for 2011. Note they are NOT resolutions; they are thematic, even strategic!

Forward. The new decade and new circumstances in both my personal and professional lives require that I forge ahead. Don’t worry, I won’t be rash (it’s not in my DNA) but I’ve got momentum and need to remind myself that one foot in front of the other is progress, even in the dark days of February.

Remember. While I’m moving forward, I need to continue to recall both the good and not-so-much experiences in my life. They combined to make me who/what I am. Strengthening connections is something I want to do for/with lots of people this year so remembering what I already know sounds like a good place to start.

Queens. I went to Hendrix so there are lots of connotations for that word which I won’t go into here. I’m using it as a focus word since 1) I want to “maintain poise and balance and charm and demeanor when dealing with life’s unpleasant moments,” as Chris Brogan so aptly described; and 2) it honors the strong women—too many to single out—who provide lessons and support for all aspects of my life.

It’s your turn now…what’s your one- (or three-) word theme for 2011?