I Don't "Get" It (LinkedIn, That Is)

My buddy @mitcharno over at Tuvel Communications recently shared a link to a post about social networking gender differences. The folks at LinkedIn say, “The overall result in the US is that men are overall more savvy networkers than women, but the real insights start to surface when you start slicing and dicing by industry and company.”

I’m an avid link-clicker so Mitch’s pointer led me to another post that said (my paraphrase), “Hey, wait a minute. Maybe it’s just LinkedIn that women don’t like.”

In my case that’s true. Though I’m a self-proclaimed geezer who loves gizmos, it’s taken me longer than I’d like to “get” some of these new-fangled tools. I’m an early adopter of downloading/signing up and then a later understander (made-up word) of what it means to my world and how I really want to use the tool. I’ve been an email user since 1992, read blogs of all types for years, and have had Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn for almost three years. Four out of five of those tools occupy a major portion of my waking hours so evidently I’ve “got” it where they are concerned. LinkedIn is currently the outlier, much like the stats that the LinkedIn folks discovered.

The often-used tools break into two broad categories:

·          Email and Facebook are my outlets to connect with people I know well. Some are folks I talk to regularly; others are friends/colleagues from long ago. The not-happening-at-the-same-time (asynchronous is the geeky word for that) communication means I can check in without “bothering” folks. I email or post or read when I want and folks respond (or not) when they choose. With email, I can get a quick response or go back for a review when my memory fails (what WAS I supposed to do about this task?). My Facebook friends are personal connections—high school, college, church friends; former colleagues of mine and Don’s; and family—people I actually have some type of relationship (present or past) with. They’re also people I trust so when I ask a question I’m fairly certain that a high percentage of the responses will be credible.

·          Twitter (or at least the tweeps I follow) points me toward articles and issues I might not know about otherwise and keeps me up to date on topics I’m interested in. It satisfies part of my curious nature. I don’t know all of the people I follow in a direct way (yeah, like Steve Case would recognize my name), but I’m not invading their space by following them. Blogs are the same way. The entries from the diverse list in my RSS feed make me laugh, provide moments of inspiration, or force me to look at an issue an entirely different way.

But I just don’t vibe with LinkedIn although I guess I need to try harder since I certainly want to be viewed as “savvy.” I’ve read articles about improving your profile and adding connections. I know people who are LION-TopLinked with a gazillion contacts and I admire that they have that many connections, REALLY!

I’ve tried to think more specifically about why LinkedIn doesn’t work for me at least right now and it boils down to two things:

·          It kinda reminds me of those clubs from back in the day (not that I EVER crossed the threshold of one of those places….I just “heard” about them! J). The ones where there was lots of small talk and a bit of posturing (male AND female) and the number of first names and phone numbers (real or made-up) acquired was the benchmark for a successful evening. The few times I’ve posted questions on LinkedIn, the signal-to-noise ratio was pretty low and the activity that resulted was mainly, “I can sell you xyz consulting services.” It could be I was asking the wrong questions.

·          The other thing about LinkedIn that bothers me is the whole recommendation thing. I’m all for shout-outs when people do a good job and I try to give them when I can but it feels false when I see five recommendations come within minutes of each other about different eras of a person’s career or a quid pro quo set (Jane wrote one for Sally so Sally immediately returns the favor) shows up on my LinkedIn update. Just thinking about asking somebody to post a recommendation on my profile makes me break out in a cold sweat (probably why I’m not any good at sales, too).

I haven’t given up on LinkedIn in the hopes that I’ll “get” it eventually and I’ll keep watching respected colleagues who use it for their benefit. In the meantime, I’ll see you on Facebook and Twitter!

Your turn to share…which of the social networking tools delight you?  Which are baffling?

Besting Kevin Bacon

You may have played “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,” a wildly popular trivia game in the ‘90s. But even as far back as the 1920s, a short story by Hungarian author Frigyes Karinthy explored the whole notion that his protagonist using no more than five individuals, one of whom is a personal acquaintance, could contact any person in the world using nothing except the network of personal acquaintances.

These days social networks like LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook make that concept commonplace (my younger friends would say, “Duh!”). But I’m a small town girl at heart so moments when my worlds collide are still sources of amazement. Three quick examples:

·          On a Tuesday evening, I hear that a woman who attends my church (that I don’t even know!) is headed to Qatar to open a branch of a cupcake store that is a big hit in Reston, VA. On Wednesday, I’m having dinner with a group of friends, including one who mentions she’ll be traveling to Qatar in mid-May (she’s the rock star of coaching women entrepreneurs in the Middle East). I make the email intro, they connect, and on her trip Mary Mac coincidentally visits the center where the cupcake store is going to be. She briefs the local businesswomen’s association and they are ready to help when the cupcake store manager arrives to set up shop later this month.

·          Some friends requested oncologist recommendations via a fairly large email list. Initially, I think I won’t intrude because I’m sure they’re getting lots of feedback but then decide to send a quick note giving a shoutout to the practice that we used (and loved). They got lots of suggestions, but I learn that their family doctor recommended the same practice. Confirmation from two completely unrelated sources sealed the deal for them.

·          Over the weekend, a friend posted a Facebook status about her son’s upcoming week at horse camp at a YMCA in Kentucky. My spidey sense keeps telling me there’s a connection of some type. Finally, I realize my niece’s fiancé is the executive director of that Y and that Steph wouldn’t automatically think of a Collins’s connection—why would she since I almost didn’t? Two texts and a Facebook message later, they knew about each other and met face-to-face bright and early on the first day of camp.

Don’t think I’m bragging about these connections. It’s not because of my vast network.Heck, I’m at the bottom of the list when it comes to numbers of FB friends, LinkedIn connections or Twitter followers (although I say I'm all about quality over quantity) and my Klout score doesn’t even register. There are plenty of folks I’ve been around for years who don’t ever (!) remember my name, no matter how many times I’m introduced (but that’s another post for another day).

All of these connections happened without a single phone call. I emailed and texted and posted on Facebook at strange hours of the day and night and didn’t twist a single arm. My only claim to fame is that I AM the daughter of a man who can ask three questions and figure out a mutual acquaintance, no matter where you put him.

When the first one happened, I smiled. At the second one, I grinned. By the third one, I laughed and just acknowledged that the world is small and filled with pretty wonderful people who are usually willing to help if they’re asked.

Now it’s your turn…..ever made a connection that bested Bacon’s or Karinthy’s six degrees?

I'm Back

“Success has that weird quality which makes it seem like child’s play after the fact, and totally impossible before.”

- Hugh McLeod

 

Of course, we're not done, but it was a great
feeling to see this on launch day.



Yes, it’s been more than two months since I posted on Cheryl Can. Gee, I get a new cool banner and then disappear? But my time over the past two months (ALL of it, I’m not making this up) has been consumed working with a great group of folks on the finishing touches and launch of the Chief’s new book, Leap of Reason: Managing to Outcomes in an Era of Scarcity. It’s a long title so we fondly call it Leap of Reason and leave it there. You can check out the website or the FB page to learn even more about it (and if you don’t mind, give us a “like” if you visit the page).

The McLeod quote is one I found a few days after the May 19 launch and it made me smile. We still can’t claim complete success on the book although early feedback has been positive. The success I’m claiming is much more pedestrian but equally satisfying: I’m still standing!

Still standing after mail-merging 6,000 letters, still standing after helping to draft 30 different types of letters, still standing after reviewing Kindle and iBook formats for submission, still standing after wrestling with a database daily, still standing after a gazillion other tasks that had to be done. Most important, I’m still standing proudly as part of a team of incredible and talented folks based in Cleveland, Seattle, Herndon, and Washington, DC. We’ve yet to all be physically in the same place at the same time but we hope to remedy that soon.

Of course, the Chief was the driving force, visionary leader. By now, I’ve figured out that what seems totally impossible when you’re in the middle does indeed become child’s play when the Chief leads the parade.

Now, I’m regrouping to regain my physical and mental stamina and then re-focus on blogging, finding some more clients for my consulting gig (two projects on the books, more to come!). Child’s play? Not quite yet, but I hope soon.

What moments in your life were seemingly impossible and then became child’s play? Let me hear about them.

Soul Smiles

See my new blog header? Snazzy, huh? Make you laugh? The photo was taken by incredible photographer Kristen Staples, Koru Photography.  The graphic is a Leah Carr production. She wears many hats—music teacher, an assistant at Southview, and an obviously gifted graphics artist.

Kristen gets major props for the Rosie the Riveter riff. When I first began talking to people about “Cheryl Can,” she said, in a nanosecond, “Oh, let’s do a fun Rosie shot!” And it was fun.

I’m a words kind of girl so I’m always impressed by the subtle touches designers weave into their work. See the blue stars in the background? Leah. The red bars that pick up the bandana? Leah.

My progress on this journey, slow but sure, is, in large part, because of family and friends like these two amazing women. I’m fortunate to know lots of smart people with a wide range of skills and talents (and I’ll be writing about many of them in future posts), but these two deserve shout-outs, right here, right now.

The photo is pretty bold for someone who says she’s all about behind-the-scenes roles but it’s really simple. I’ll stay in the background till the cows come home as long the client values my work (which happens regularly in my current environment and it’s something I’ll look for in the future); and 2) I keep my soul smiling. You know, those triggers that bring you back to center…like your faith, toddlers in your lap, an unexpected phone call, a song on the radio, and, now, this blog header (stay tuned, there may be other versions).

What makes your soul smile?

Mmm, Mmm, Good!

Douglas Conant, president and CEO of Campbell Soup Company, wrote “Secrets of Positive Feedback” on the HBR Blog earlier this month.  He shares three simple rules to build appreciation: 1) make a personal connection; 2) look for opportunities to celebrate; and 3) get our your pen.

I know in my gut that gold stars and thank you notes can play important roles in organizations. And I’ve watched (and helped) the Chief make those same sorts of connections over the years with great success. But I joined his universe at the very end of his commercial career so I didn’t have hard numbers to undergird my pitch that part of my consulting service would include helping leaders map their stakeholders and determine how/when to communicate with them to strengthen relationships.

“How Employee Engagement Turned Around Campbell's” describes how Conant took “a beleaguered old brand” to “extraordinary” in eight years. Yes, cost-cutting, smart innovations, and increased marketing were vital, but Conant says, “...of all the measurable elements related to culture building, engagement correlates closest to shareholder returns.”

He doesn’t just mouth platitudes. In the Forbes Q&A, he said he sends 20 notes a day to staffers and the blog post mentions spending 30 to 60 minutes daily (with his assistants) scanning for news to celebrate.

There aren’t many people who wouldn’t say this is the “right” thing to do and some of them would quickly add, “I just don’t have the cycles” or “My handwriting is terrible.” Strengthening relationships is more than just the “right” thing; it’s your opportunity to increase your impact and promote your organization’s values (and value).

I’m not as adamant as Conant about using a pen so I’d love to help you figure it out. Mmmm, mmmm, good!

Entertainment Tonight

…an occasional series about new-fangled gizmos and how geezers like me use them.

TV? Check.

Wireless access point (WAP)? Check.

Gaming system? Check, rarely used Wii.

Netflix account? Check.

Lots of movies/TV series missed in the past couple of years? Check.

I got my gear girl on this week when I hooked up my big honkin’ TV to stream Netflix. I was initially intimidated by the number of steps, but it’s really pretty easy. My rule of thumb for easy? If I can do it, you can, too.

To save you some manual-reading (because I know most of you think that’s unnecessary), here’s what I did without requiring a hole in the wall or an onsite technician:

·          Connect the Wii to your wireless network (this assumes that your Wii is already hooked to your TV). There are articles out there to read, but you navigate to Wii options/settings (second menu screen)/Internet/open connection. Then choose wireless access, let it search for a WAP and then choose yours.

Important caveat: Make sure you know the name of your WAP (mine is an obtuse set of letters/numbers) AND that you have the security code or password handy.  Don’t have your WAP locked down? You really oughta, but that’s another post and, please, Mr. Neighbor, don’t lock yours…you’re my go-to desperation connection.

·          Go to the Wii Shop Channel and download the Netflix app. I put the download on the system itself since I’m not a gamer. You’ll have the option to put it on an SD card, but if you have one of those, chances are that you don’t need this post or this article.

Mine upgraded the Wii firmware so yours may, too. Be patient; this could take a few minutes.

·          Next, I took a 24-hour break. It was past my bedtime…this geezer needs her sleep.

·          If you have more stamina than I, then open the Netflix app on your Wii. The first time you’ll see an activation code so go to your Netflix account via your computer and enter that code at http://www.netflix.com/Activate.

·          Go back to your TV (see why a laptop is nice?) and you should be ready to browse your queue or the Netflix selection of movies and shows.

·          Start streaming. The Wii remote serves as your Pause, Fast Forward, Rewind. It’s a bit klugy since you have to point at the screen and click on the icons but you’ll get the hang fairly quickly. For the $7.99/month option, you don’t get DVDs by mail and the selection of first-run movies seems pretty limited, but I’m hoping that competition from other providers will remedy that OR that RedBox will come out with its own app. In the meantime, there are movies/shows that I need to watch! Thus far, I haven’t had herky-jerky streaming but I can’t promise that won’t happen….I DO love me some Verizon FIOS!

If my TV viewing encroaches on the rest of my world, I’ll unplug it, but I’m claiming that I did it for your entertainment tonight.

Consistency: Let It Go, Louie

I’ve been fretting about consistency for the past few days, triggered by a pot of polenta: Stir until smooth consistency is reached.

I try hard to be consistent in just about every area of my life. I show up on time (usually early). I do what I say when I say I’ll do it (and love others, especially vendors, who do the same thing). On the surface at least, I’m fairly unflappable EXCEPT when I’m dealing with change. My new heroine Rosabeth Moss Kanter assures me that my penchant for wallowing in dread when change is imminent is actually a good thing…see why I love her?

So, what’s the source of my latest angst? Finding the time to post to this blog! I’ve read all the suggestions (of course, I have; I learn by reading) about building an audience through regular posting, the etiquette of commenting on others’ posts and responding to the kind people who take the time to comment on your blog. I know the strategies and tactics of building community—I’ve watched and learned from masters!

But, another primary goal of this blog is to help me find my voice so I want this to be an enjoyable process, not drudgery. I’ve got to find a happy place where I write with satisfaction within a timeframe that works. If once a week is what I can do vs. my initial goal of twice a week, then that’s ok…it’s not like my audience is clamoring for more! J

Help me brainstorm good ideas for building audience and writing with satisfaction with limited time. Is it a standing weekly piece like my buddy APB does with his “Sunday feeling” post?  Is it a quick link to an article I find interesting even though my interests range from well-written sports stories to philanthropy to mommy blogs? Is it something else entirely?

A Facebook friend posted, “The perfect is the enemy of the good,” as her status. She didn’t know it would be a powerful reminder: Let it go, Louie.

Rockin' Robin

…an occasional series about new-fangled gizmos and how geezers like me use them.

@Biz, @Ev, & @Jack sent me an email about getting the most out of Twitter in 2011. So in the spirit of flattery (by “borrowing” their points), here’s my take on their suggestions.

Full disclosure: Right now, I’m probably best described as an “active lurker” on Twitter which means I look/listen much more than I tweet. I fall in the active category because I often share what I’m seeing through other channels. Sooner or later, I’ll start tweeting more but I’m still searching for my niche (and maybe it’s not really a niche but a broad-based survey of what I find intriguing).

Anyway, here are some ways to dip your toes in the Twitterstream.

Follow your interests. This is a big “duh” in my book but I’m not the one worth a gazillion dollars because I invented Twitter so it’s probably worth repeating. You may think you should only follow folks who are part of your professional world, but, hey, lighten up. You’ll check Twitter more often if you’re following one of your passions. Don’t feel bad about following @Paula_Deen or @BigMama and I won’t tell if you decide to follow @aplusk even if I don’t (six million others follow Ashton Kutcher, why shouldn’t you?).

This also gives you the opportunity to hear what folks that you don’t have direct access to are thinking. I don’t run in the same circles as @SteveCase, @RickWarren or @BillGates but I can follow them. I’m not sucking up when I say that Steve Case is probably the best Tweeter I’ve seen so you should check him out. I can also unfollow folks without guilt if I think they’re tweeting too much (like every eight seconds but I’m not naming names) or too self-promoting (again, no names). They don’t care whether I’m there or not and it’s not as personal as deciding to unfriend on Facebook.

Get specific. Sure, look for people and orgs that you know or who are experts in your space(s). I follow @vppartners, @DonorsChoose and @ShareStrength along with a bunch more because of my work with nonprofits, but I also follow @mashable and @appstore for my gear girl/tech side, @GrammarGirl for cranky old English teacher tips, and @WestWingReport to know what’s going on at the White House without the wonkiness.

Use the lists feature if your interests, like mine, are all over the map. I’ve set up lists for education and medical tweets and I probably should slice and dice my followers even further but the serendipity of the timeline appeals to me so that’s the way I’m scanning most often.

Don't panic. I find myself checking Twitter instead of other sources (both traditional and online) when I want to know about snowstorms or world events or breaking news. @capitalweather has been my go-to source for all things weather in the Greater Washington Region this winter and their forecasts are much more measured than the weather guys on TV—the right approach for this snow weenie. When Representative Giffords was shot in Arizona, I followed it on Twitter, not TV. My church @SouthviewChurch tweets schedules and resource info (although I need to encourage more of my community of faith to start following!).

Return to Twitter. Well, this doesn’t exactly translate for my purposes since Ev, Biz and Jack are obviously building their company. But it is a nice reminder if it’s been a while since you looked at your account or you’ve never had one in the first place. It took me longer to “get” Twitter than it did Facebook so you’re not alone if you tried it and didn’t like it on your first go-round.

Chime in to tell me the folks you think are great at Twitter and leave them in the comments. I’m always looking for other interesting people. Oh, yeah, speaking of self-promotion, find me @cecollins.

PS – If you’re of a certain age, the title of this post will now play on an endless loop. A lesser known fact is that my middle name is Robin….yours in over-sharing, c

Not Your Kid's Facebook, Part III

Parts I and II of “Not Your Kid’s Facebook” were behind-the-scenes suggestions on setting up your account and figuring out your account. Now it’s time for the fun part.

·          Facebook is more than “I had cereal for breakfast.” I always hear that argument from people in my age range who haven’t signed up for an account for whatever the reason. People DO sometimes post what they’re eating or cooking (yum!) but it’s not that different from sharing the same information during a water cooler conversation (and don’t even pretend you never done that). Admittedly, I have seen a few posts that are way TMI (too much information), but I’ve also celebrated new babies, graduations, weddings, promotions, and other happy news. I’ve been touched by memorial tributes for people I loved and comforted by kind words from unexpected sources.

·          Check your facts before reposting a link or status. Remember all the email blasts about some dreaded virus that turned out to be a hoax? People have learned to go to Snopes.com to check their facts before spamming their entire address book. Facebook users are still learning that lesson. It’s usually some post about privacy settings and most of the time it’s not entirely correct so do a quick google search to verify (or ask your favorite techie) before you paste it on your wall.

·          Write captions and tag people in your pics. I’ve taken the time to click on your album; give me some context and tell me who the people are! Yes, it takes a bit of extra time, but it’s worth the effort. I’m careful to use only first names of children and don’t post at all unless I see that their parents have posted pics first. It’s just the right thing to do.

·          Chime in every so often. Don’t feel obligated to comment on every status, every posting, every link (please DON’T!), but a quick “like” (looks like “thumbs up”) on somebody’s status or picture doesn’t take long and it’s like a wave across cyberspace. Seeing comments on my posts, sometimes from totally unexpected sources, usually makes me smile so I like to return the favor, hoping they’ll smile, too.

·          Don’t obsess over status updates. It’s a conversation, not a dissertation, and you don’t have to post every moment of your day (again, please DON’T). Dan Zarella, a self-described social media scientist (whatever that means), answered five questions about Facebook marketing in a blog post. His advice? Post every other day. I, self-described social media geezer, decree that a post can be a status, a comment, a like and it counts…hey, it’s my blog and I can do what I want.

·          Don’t put anything on FB you don’t mind seeing on the front page of USA TODAY (insert media outlet of choice here). Remember, if it goes on your wall, all of your friends (and perhaps others, depending on your privacy setting) are going to see it. If you want it to be one-to-one, use the message option. Even then, remember that anything you write down anywhere—email, letter, sticky note—isn’t really private, so act accordingly. Yes, I learned that lesson the hard way in eighth grade when a mean girl posted my sappy note to my boyfriend on the lunchroom bulletin board…awkward!

This is my completely unofficial take for Facebook, at least for now. What are your tips, tricks and quirks with all things Facebook?

PS – Yes, all of this information and more can probably be found in one of the Dummies series. But I come from a family where the children are all above average and nobody, especially my mama, thinks they classify as a dummy. J

Not Your Kid's Facebook, Part II

…an occasional series about new-fangled gizmos and how geezers like me use them.

Part I of “Not Your Kid’s Facebook” focused on the decision to sign up for an account. Now, we move to some housekeeping details (I’m saving the really fun stuff for Part III):

·          Lock down your privacy settings. I use Friends Only for the majority of the options. Don’t trust FB to choose the best options for you; they have no dog in your hunt.

·          Think about who you want to see on your friends list and how you will (or won’t) look for them. For example, I don’t reach out to anybody under the age of 18, but if they reach out to me, I’ll accept their request. Facebook is their world and I don’t want to intrude, but I freely admit, I’m tickled/flattered when the young ‘uns send me a friend request. I’m delighted (albeit sometimes a bit horrified) to know what my nephews are posting. Their parents are also their friends (which I believe is a “must” if you have a kid on FB) so anything too outrageous soon disappears. I’m equally careful about stalking their posts and don’t comment very regularly—they indulge me by not seeming to mind if I give an occasional thumbs up but I save the “love u” messages for texts that are directly to them.

·          Tweak your notification options. Getting an email every time somebody “likes” a friend’s status can make you crazy. So, uncheck all of the notification options (Account/Account Settings/Notification tab) and then add them back in, based on what you really want to know via email (and that may be nothing at all). I get an email when somebody friends me, sends me a direct message, or comments on one of my status postings. That’s it.

·          Upload a profile pic. I’m reluctant to accept a friend invitation from someone with only the silhouette photo, which is strangely reminiscent of those old yearbook picture placeholders. Find a picture that makes you smile. My favorite profile pic is my pink wig one, but, at my family’s request, I provide a glimpse of my current hair color every so often.

·          Fill out at least part of the profile information. Share your essentials (work, hometown, birthday without the year (!), and education). I don’t have my cell number on my profile, but I know lots of folks who do. I do like the quotes section as a repository for quotes I come across. One of my faves? “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne. There are too many books and movies in my life to list them all but I promise you’ll look at what your friends have listed, especially in your early experiences with Facebook.

·          Download the mobile app for your smartphone. Put a bookmark/button in your web browser. You’re more likely to use FB if you make it simple to get to. Waiting in the doctor’s office? Check out FB; it takes your mind off the impending appointment and the ever-present lag time for doctor visits. Facebook would love to be my home page, but it’s not where I want to go every time I open my browser (which has a blank default which is faster than waiting for a page to load). So, I make a button on my toolbar (Add to Favorites Bar for the Internet Explorer users in the crowd) and that allows me to get to Facebook in a single click.

I’ll be looking for you on FB. Stop by and see me!

Want to learn more? You might be interested in Part I and Part III.

Not Your Kid’s Facebook, Part I

…first in an occasional series of new-fangled gizmos and how geezers like me use them.

I joined Facebook (FB) in July 2007 nearly a year after it was opened to the general public. Initially, it was simply an experiment because the Chief had gotten an invite from a high-profile friend and I thought it HAD to be a hoax. I offered to take one for the team—it’s not nearly as big a deal if my email account gets hacked—but didn’t get too involved until mid-2008.

I’m far from expert in all things FB, although I spent a weekend in 1979 with friends (who shall remain nameless for their own protection) assigning a ranking to every guy on my small college campus. A foreshadowing of Facemash? You decide. We didn’t know enough computer programming to put it online, but the campus post office was buzzing on Monday morning when the index cards began falling out of the mailboxes…”You got a 10? My number says 4.”

Sean Parker was an intern in our office for about three days when he was 15 so with these august credentials I offer the following observations:

·          You’re not too old. I’m proud to report that my mama is a FB user (and, by default, my dad regularly mentions things he’s read on “the Facebook”). In a survey, the Pew Internet & American Life Project found that social networking use among internet users ages 50 and older nearly doubled from April 2009 to May 2010. I’ll never be as adept with social media as the young ‘uns and I don’t want to interfere in their world, but I can play around the fringes. You can, too.

·          You’ll be surprised at who you’ll find. My friends list is a cross-section of family, high school classmates, college friends, a few students from my teaching days, along with current friends and colleagues. Are they all people I’d call regularly? No, I probably wouldn’t even email a fraction of them more than a couple of times every five years, but I do scan their statuses and know what they’re up to.

·          You’ll also be surprised at who plays Farmville or Mafia Wars or Petville. The game craze seems to have calmed down in my circle of friends. In full disclosure, I generally hide those games in my feed. If you want to play them, have at it; I just don’t want to see your activity.

·          Your memories won’t necessarily jibe with what folks say on FB. I’m not the same person I was at 16, 22, or even 35 so I don’t know why I thought people from those periods of my life would be. But I did, and it took a few weeks to realign my memories with their online realities…they probably think the same thing about me!

·          Quantity or quality? Don had more friends in his first 24 hours on FB than I did after 18 months. Maybe I just don’t know as many people as he did, but I was heartened by Robin Dunbar’s recent NY Times article, “You’ve Got to Have (150) Friends.”

So, I’m guessing you may have an account (I know lots of cool people) but do you do anything with it? Try it; you’ll like it.

Want to learn more? You might be interested in Part II and Part III.

Three Little Words

I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions. Any moments of self-reflection and goal-setting sessions are always tied to the school year calendar. I have to rein myself in at Staples and Target in late summer or I find my shopping cart filled with new notebooks and markers in quantities I simply can’t justify any more. Just try to tell me opening a new notebook isn’t a fresh start!

I don’t remember how I found @ChrisBrogan on Twitter, but 9 times out of 10 I find myself clicking through to whatever he’s tweeted. A few weeks ago I found a link to his post “My Three Words for 2010” and here is his post for 2011 words. Not long after, I saw that Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, had posted “Choose One Word to Set the Tone for Next Year.”

Never satisfied with one word when I can have three, here are my picks for 2011. Note they are NOT resolutions; they are thematic, even strategic!

Forward. The new decade and new circumstances in both my personal and professional lives require that I forge ahead. Don’t worry, I won’t be rash (it’s not in my DNA) but I’ve got momentum and need to remind myself that one foot in front of the other is progress, even in the dark days of February.

Remember. While I’m moving forward, I need to continue to recall both the good and not-so-much experiences in my life. They combined to make me who/what I am. Strengthening connections is something I want to do for/with lots of people this year so remembering what I already know sounds like a good place to start.

Queens. I went to Hendrix so there are lots of connotations for that word which I won’t go into here. I’m using it as a focus word since 1) I want to “maintain poise and balance and charm and demeanor when dealing with life’s unpleasant moments,” as Chris Brogan so aptly described; and 2) it honors the strong women—too many to single out—who provide lessons and support for all aspects of my life.

It’s your turn now…what’s your one- (or three-) word theme for 2011?