I hate change (almost as much as I dislike conflict, but that’s another post). I’ve worn the same perfume for more than 30 years (I rationalize that it’s my signature fragrance). I drive the same route to work every day, usually changing lanes at the same place, too. I sit in the same pew at my church with the same folks in front and behind and am discombobulated if we aren’t all in place. I used to include a slide in my Giftedland workshops that said, “The only person who likes change is a wet baby,” and I pretty much believe that.
You’d think I wouldn’t like new things, but I do. I like meeting new people, learning new facts, hearing new songs, trying different restaurants. I’ve even tried a variety of hair colors in the past few years under the tutelage of my fashion-forward niece since after you have no hair, you figure a different color (or three) ain’t no thang.
Am I an oxymoron? Maybe in other areas of my life, but I handle change—eventually. By now, family, friends and colleagues know that when change is thrust upon me, I need to vent (perhaps pout), envision all the horrible things that “might” happen, read as much as I can about the implications and pitfalls of said change, and then put my big girl panties on and get on with it.
Everything about this Cheryl v.3.0 thing involves moving beyond my comfort zone. Isn’t that what change involves for everybody? So, here are three reminders that I’ve been using that may be helpful to you, too:
• “Be with it.” An incredibly wise friend shared this several years ago and it’s become my mantra, especially over the past year. Take a deep breath and take each hour, each moment as it comes…a cliché? No doubt, but it works.
• Laugh. Often, hard, and, yes, inappropriately every now and then. Need a pirate joke? I have a million. If you can, choose to laugh inappropriately with the people who love you most, but don’t worry if you slip. Sometimes you need the laughter more than you need the approval.
• Celebrate victories, even the smallest ones that don’t make a difference to anyone else. For example, driving in DC has been a major bogeyman for me. Silly, I know, but this “Little Girl from Little Rock” doesn’t like to drive in the first place and those round-about things so familiar to New Englanders freak me out. Don’t even start on the logic that Pierre L’Enfant used to lay out the city; I just know you think you’re on H Street and then it’s Pennsylvania Avenue and, OMG, you’re at the White House and they’re going to think I’m a terrorist (I’m getting to the victory, stay with me). Anyway, I made it to DC (and back) in my own car this week and I’m a happy camper. No big deal? Not to you, but it’s a small victory to remember when it’s time to face the next change.
Major life events are often the impetus of change and I’ve seen enough folks come out successfully on the other side to be hopeful that Cheryl 3.0 will emerge, perhaps bloodied but unbowed. What tips can you share with this old dog learning new tricks? Let’s talk.
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